February 4, 2024

⚡Dispatch 11 - 3, 2, 1 - the Voice Inside

Hey Stoked Dad,

Welcome to Sunday - here’s to good coffee, slow mornings, and another week of being Stoked.

  1. How I talk to myself and the words I used are under constant analysis by our near-4 year old. She notices if I'm frustrated with myself, if I'm upset at our dog, and asks why I call the car that dangerous cut us off a "clown." How I talk around her shapes a bit of her own reality. I won't be perfect, but I hope to be quick to call out when I use the wrong words. I want to model kindness, love, and calmness with my words and tone; so that my daughters can hopefully inherit that voice. It's a work in progress.
  2. As stoked dads, we're also give our kids a bit of their inner voices. How we talk to them will create that inner voice. We aren't born with that inner critic, it's given to us. Are we helping create an inner voice that is confident, strong, kind or harsh, anxious, and angry? When we're frustrated with them and their choices, how are we responding? The words we use in those moments of frustration, when their afraid, etc will have lasting effects on who they become.
  3. I'm finishing a book called "How to Know a Person" by David Brooks. It's a pretty great read on how engage with others. I've noticed with how tired I've been, how much planning goes into each day, I don't feel as strong listening and asking others about themselves. The subtitle of the book is "the art of seeing others deeply and being seen deeply," we could all use a bit more of that art in our lives.

"Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you."

— Aldous Huxley

One final thing - The Stoked Dad Archive is finally live. Check it out!

Be stoked my friend,


P.S. - I’m focused on getting better and growing a stoked dad community with each dispatch. If you liked these, it would mean a ton if you shared it with someone else.